The Life-Changing Faith of a Foster Mom

Incredibly, getting sick may have saved baby Rowdy’s life and his big sister’s.  

Rowdy wasn’t breathing when he entered the emergency room. A ventilator was needed to keep him stable while doctors worked to treat a severe case of Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV), a respiratory infection that, in Rowdy’s case, nearly proved fatal. He was in critical condition for several days, yet his parents’ presence at his bedside was sporadic at best. The toddler would be lucky to survive, and his care team wondered why he hadn’t been brought in sooner. The Child and Family Services worker who arrived soon after wondered the same.

Further investigation uncovered the nightmare the baby and his big sister were living in.  

It was mid-December when 2-year-old Lee’lona was found in a broken-down car. Only blankets draped over the vehicle’s busted windows stood between she and the bitter winter cold outside. Their parents suffered from addiction to drugs and alcohol. As a result, their pursuit of those substances overrode their natural instincts to care and provide for their children — and each other. The couple put the children to bed in the dilapidated car each night. Sometimes one or both adults joined them. Other times, the children were left alone for extended periods while their parents sought their next fix.

The family spent tumultuous summers in a tent. The parents argued frequently when together, sometimes escalating to screaming matches that ended in one assaulting the other. Little Lee’lona would later recall awakening to see large, scary “monsters” coming and going in the dead of night. Unsure of when her parents might reappear, the toddler struggled to identify their shadowy figures in the dark.

In her parents’ absence, Lee’lona took charge of her baby brother though she herself was just a toddler. Neglect had left Lee’lona’s speech so underdeveloped she was practically nonverbal. She utilized her vocabulary of just eight words to advocate for her brother’s needs — “baby food, baby potty, baby cold.” Limited in her ability to express her own needs, she often resorted to crying like an infant. But even when she cried, no one answered.

Christmas was approaching and the temperatures were dropping as the children’s situation came to light. After several days, Rowdy had recovered enough to finally leave the hospital. But the question remained — where would the children go now?  

***

Rebecca opened her door and ushered in the social worker carrying a squirming baby. At the worker’s side stood a little girl whose wide, brown eyes darted between her new surroundings and her baby brother. Rebecca gave the trio a quick tour of her home. There wasn’t much to see — no yard, no other kids, just a small third-floor apartment where Rebecca lived alone with her dog. But it was ready for them, the spare room furnished and the closets full of clean hand-me-down baby and toddler clothes. Rowdy and Lee’lona were Rebecca’s second foster placement, a mission she had undertaken alone having never been married. In faith and obedience, she opened her heart and home fully to them despite the challenges she knew lay ahead as a single mom. God had never failed her yet.

The following weeks revealed to Rebecca that with every expected and accepted hardship came an unexpected one. The children wailed for hours on end, unable to communicate their needs or discomforts. The tiny apartment became chaotic and noisy. And even taking the kids outside to play was exhausting — hauling strollers, diaper bags and squirming bodies down three flights of stairs, down the street to the park and back again an hour later when one or both children became fussy and overstimulated. This she expected.

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“I knew that being outnumbered by two kids who were just torn from everything they knew, everything that felt familiar no matter how broken, was going to be hard. And it was,” Rebecca said.

What she hadn’t counted on, however, were the limits of her own strength and patience and the ways her children’s behaviors would unearth her own history of trauma. Before stepping into foster care, Rebecca was a trauma care nurse, facing graphic injuries head on night after night. In order to provide stability in the absence of a co-parent, Rebecca had given up the challenging yet fulfilling job in lieu of a quiet day job in a clinical setting so that she could foster.

She had seen and treated severe physical trauma on a daily basis for years. But it was the incessant crying of her two youngsters that ultimately threatened her sanity. There were no physical injuries to heal, no way to ask them what they needed. How was she to comfort two children suffering from inoperable wounds to their soul?

Finally, after nearly eight months of struggling, Rebecca reached her breaking point. She realized she simply couldn’t care for her kids well enough on her own. With no partner to turn to, she lifted her eyes to heaven and gave it all to God.

“I admitted to God that I didn’t know what these kids needed. But He did. He knew what they’d been through as well what I was struggling with,” Rebecca said.  

But that resolve to trust God quickly came under fire. As her lease approached its expiration, her landlord informed her that he planned to double the rate of rent for her apartment, forcing her out. Suddenly, she faced not only the loss of her home but also of the children for whom she’d fought so hard.

This too she gave to God, praying aloud for His provision over her little family. Then, she said, as if He’d simply been waiting for her to ask, God gave her what she asked and more.

Rebecca’s mother and stepfather had just completed construction on their dream home, leaving the mobile home on their property vacant. As Rebecca told her mom of their need, her mom too saw God interceding. A spare house stood waiting for the little family that needed one, and it would bring them closer to the support system that could help this single mom thrive.  

As Rebecca moved Lee’lona and Rowdy into their new home, she began cherishing the sweet rhythm of her own need and God’s faithful provision. The family’s newfound stability led to exponential growth for the children as well. Lee’lona, now equipped with the confidence and vocabulary to express herself, began sharing early memories and asking deeper questions about her birth family. Rowdy graduated from occupational therapy, discovering new ways to interact with his environment and connect with his foster mom. Together, the family delved into God’s goodness, praying for the kids’ birth parents, counting their many blessings and looking forward to the future.

Though they continue to pray for healing and redemption for the children’s birth family, the little family is now preparing to begin a new chapter together. This winter, Rebecca was granted permanent guardianship of Lee’lona and Rowdy and was able to buy her little family a home of their own shortly after. Now mother, daughter and son look forward in faith to a bright future together.